Trying to Control Both The HOW And the WHAT (Goals) Creates Conflicts.
It is almost impossible to control both the How and the What (Results) at the same time. To many people think they can control the How and the What (Goals)of themselves and/or others. Especially the controlling micromanagers who tell their subordinates What Objectives they are required to do and also How they must accomplish them.
If you control the How you lose control over the What (Goals). Too may people focus only on How they demand things be done and they rarely reach their What (Results), if they had goals in the first place. If you control the What (Goals), your What (Goals) will dictate the best How; the methods to achieve the goals. Thus, when you control your Goals (The What) you will discover the best Methods (The Hows). to achieve them
Examples of where controlling the How looses control over the the What (Goals)
The famous scene in the Wizard of Oz exemplifies the importance of controlling the What, versus the How (Goals) the destination, where the group upon reaching an intersection with 6 roads.
The group asked each other “which road do we take?”
None in the group could answer the question.
So they agreed to “Ask the Wizard”
They asked the Wizard: “Wizard oh Wizard which road should we take.”
The Wizard asked; “Where do you want to go?”
They answered: “We don’t know.”
The Wizard responded; “Then it does not matter which road you take.”
The Wizard showed that it did not matter what road (the How) they took because they did not have a destination (what) to strive for.
In addition, many people focus their energies on being more organized, and efficient when they have No destination or NO What. When asked What they want to achieve with being more organized, they rarely can respond. So being more organized becomes more about appearances than actually achieving goals. Unless the Appearance of Being Organized is the Goal.
Yet we are taught in school to focus on the HOW versus the WHAT (Goals) by being bombarded with and judged only on the subject matter we are required to learn and How well we regurgitate what we learned in exams, with little if any consideration for What we want to accomplish or where we want to go. Yet, the most important skill we can learn in school is to learn How we can best learn outside information, retain it and access it when we want to.
A journey (And Life is a Journey) without chosen destinations (Goals, the Whats)
becomes nothing more than an Aimless Wandering.
Most people exist in life bouncing around on aimless wanderings.
Take Control of your WHATS (Goals) to discover the best HOWS
So the solution is to take control of your Whats (Goals in life) and not letting the How’s control your life. Then letting your whats (goals) determine the best methods, the best paths (Hows) to take you from where you are to where you want to go. So where do skills and experiences come into the equation? They are the best methods to achieve certain goals that have been previously established. But the personal implementation of skills to achieve the goals becomes the reason to use these skills. But without a real goal the use of the skills do not matter. For example if you learned the skill to tackle a football player implementing that skill only to hit a tennis ball would not be practical.
Another example. A person living in Kansas city asked for help to design the best vacation for his wife and 2 children ages 8 and 11 and insisted that they drive their new fancy family van a maximum of 200 miles per day and stop before 5:00 PM daily to rest. But upon seeking the conditions of their most desired vacation they included being on the ocean beach in a very nice hotel with warm clear water to surf, and enjoy numerous water sports. It also included experiencing temperatures no higher than 84 degrees nor lower than 74 degrees, be English speaking, and have access to restaurants and tropical jungles nearby. Of course he described Waikiki Beach in Honolulu Hawaii. Driving in their van 200 miles each day would not get them to Waikiki Beach. The destination dictates the how, which would most likely include taking an air flight from Kansas City to Honolulu without driving their van 200 miles each day.
Focus on discovering and defining your personal Whats, your own chosen goals, and let your chosen goals show the best methods the best Hows to achieve them. Achieving your goals is easier than you think when you follow this method. You might also want to read about Setting New Year’s Resolutions: A Practical Guide
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