Why Connecting with your Ideal Coach is so Important

Connecting with a coach whom you will develop a strong trusting bond and true equal partnership is one of the four key conditions of achieving success through coaching. Why is having such a strong caring relationship with your coach so important to your success? Why wouldn’t any qualified coach be able to assist you to achieve your coachable goals? Why is it so important that you and your coach develop a close, special and very personal bond?

Encountering “the wall”

The answer is that the strong caring relationship you have with your coach will be the most important ingredient to assist you to get over “the wall.” The first stage of successful coaching consists of discovering whom you really are and what you really want to do. Your coach will ask you in-depth questions to uncover your passions, desires and priorities, beliefs, talents and your self imposed obstacles. In essence, your coach will serve as your mirror so you will see and understand what they truly are. Unless you have been coached before you will probably experience these revelations for the very first time. This is where you will probably encounter “the wall.” When you face the reality of the new perspectives presented by the mirror (your coach) for the first time, you will probably encounter conflicts that will create resistance or “the wall.”

These conflicts arise because the new perspectives offered by your coach may differ from what you have been told about yourself. “The wall” is really the realization of the conflicts between your previously perceived understanding of yourself and the new truths presented by your coach. Unfortunately, most people develop a sense about themselves based upon what others tell them. Others who normally influence the picture people develop of themselves include parents, friends, teachers, bosses, competitors, and admirers. They all present descriptions that are based more on what fits their agendas than on what is really the truth. As an example, bosses are notorious for presenting “strengths” and “weaknesses” to suit how they want their employees to behave to follow their personal agendas. Likewise, admirers will present exaggerated descriptions to suit their desire to fulfill their hero worship needs. It’s no wonder people develop such confusing and inaccurate pictures of themselves, when you consider the multitude of different and inaccurate descriptions they receive from so many people.

Your coach will dig for and present the truth, without any agenda, without any judgment, and with total caring support. People hit “the wall” when their true inner passions, desires, priorities, beliefs, talents or self-imposed obstacles are first presented by their coach, and they do not agree with the confusing and inaccurate picture they had of themselves, before coaching.

The resistance of “the wall”

Although many people say they really want to discover and understand themselves so they will become the “world’s leading expert on themselves” the actual discovery process can be scary. There appears to be a lot of unknowns. The discovery of these new truths might burst preconceived bubbles and expectations. They will probably take people out of their well-manicured comfort zones. This is when resistance to the discovery process pops up and can be called “the wall.” The resistance can be so strong that some people say that they do not want to continue to discover the truth about themselves. Yet it is their misunderstanding of themselves that drove them to the point of seeking the assistance of a coach in the first place.

How your coach will assist you to avoid “the wall.”

Your personally selected equal partner coach will be your confidant, supporter, cheerleader and guide to journey through the maze of confusion about yourself to finally discover the enlightening truth about yourself. The strong bond and caring, non-judgmental relationship between you and your coach will become the source of strength to avoid “the wall.” You will gain enough confidence in yourself through your strong coaching relationship to look for and accept the truth about yourself. When you finally see, understand and accept the newly discovered truth about yourself you will feel a strong sense of relief and excitement. Your previous conflicts all but disappear. You will experience new sources of energy and self-reliance. These events are normally called “breakthroughs.” Sometimes they are also referred to as “Ah Ha’s.” Normally, when coaching clients get around “the wall” for the first time and experience a “coachable breakthrough” they undergo a remarkable change in their outlook, attitude about themselves and their lives.

Example of the life wonders beyond “the wall.”

Here is an example of a true-life situation where a person had been suffering through a life to please others. He had been unable to avoid his “wall” for years until he finally connected with a coach whom he felt a strong enough caring bond to share his lifelong dreams, and the changes in his life were remarkable.

An aggressive plaintiff’s attorney had made an excellent living suing insurance companies hospitals and medical practitioners for over twenty years. But he had been going through the motions. His only life enjoyment involved his saltwater fishing hobby. He had not considered himself to be marriage material, and remained single. His elderly mother continued to be disappointed in his choice of professions and still wanted her son to be a Doctor. After much research and personal investigation he connected with a coach with whom he felt a strong and caring bond. Once the discovery phase of coaching began, he released over twenty years of bottled up passions, priorities and desires to some day earn a living as a salt-water fishing guide. After only three sessions, he was able to clearly describe his dream life and what it would take to live it. His coach not only encouraged him to live his dream, but she also provided him the permission (that had been withheld by his parents) to live his life to fulfill his passions and priorities. Once he cleared his “wall” that had been blocking him all his life, he flew to the Caribbean, bought a fishing guide business, a new boat, and a house in only four days. He returned to his law practice and closed it down within a week and began his dream life in the Caribbean. He lost weight and he smiles much more because he really enjoys his life and helps people enjoy themselves versus attacking others. He also discovered how well new his real self appealed to the ladies.

Conclusion.

Virtually everyone has at least one “wall” and sometimes more. These self -imposed “walls” become obstacles to achieving greater enjoyment, peace of mind, and the feeling of self-worth and achievement we all want. The journey around these walls can be very difficult, if not downright impossible, for many to take alone. Your coach will not only assist you to recognize your “walls” which would otherwise remain a mystery, but he or she will guide you around them. The partnership developed with the right coach will make the journey not only possible but much easier and quicker. Once you clear your “wall” and discover and accept the truth about you, great things begin to happen. This newly discovered truth will not only set you free but provide the basis of growing and improving as a person in so many ways. You will finally tap into your true gifts, talents and follow your chosen path to greatness. Why? Because you will be able to be you and produce, enjoy, thrive, and prosper with less effort, much less stress, and in the natural way you were meant to live. You will discover your “zone” of life and work and actually live and operate within it. The rewards that await most people on the other side of their “walls” are far more valuable and exciting than can be sufficiently described here.

We welcome your opinions and comments.

Bill Dueease
Editor